Friday, November 02, 2007
since eidhari berkat hari jumaat.
i'm still here at customer's site,
and its already dark outside.
hwehhhh...
hm hm.
assalamualaikum kawan2.
i'm repeating myself i know,
but here i am,
friday night,
out of breath,
at customer's site,
the SCorp.
its after working hours and from the looks of it,
its gonna be a long night before i'd get to get myself home.
oh well.
i could use a break i thought,
and here i am.
alone.
cuz everyone else,
they got something better to do than customer support.
yeah righttttt...
we ALL know that is NOT true :P
anyway,
i have been slumped under workload since a week before eid.
and it doesn't look like the tide's gonna subside anytime soon.
and everyday is just another roller coaster ride.
urgh.
and i'm tired.
i'm tired tired tired tired tired.
ok, its nice when people trust you,
it is.
and its nice when they write off at the end of a business mail
personal gratitude for your support.
all the good stuffs compared to this people or that people.
its nice, it is, i'll give you that.
but i'm sorry...
its not that i don't appreciate it...
i'm just tired.
i'm tired tired tired tired tired,
ok?
i did what you wanted me to do.
i dug all of the grounds for the info you wanted.
i even ran the sample design 12 different ways of options.
that and i did the analysis on all their results.
and i even concluded them for your better understanding in documents.
when i explained to you, it was a relief you seemed impressed
that i went through all the trouble and did all that,
i thought you'd be satisfied and i'll be off the hook,
BUT?
haiyo misterrrrr...
why did you ask me to dig further?
yeah, ok, so you said
if i have the time,
but oi, say,
if i don't give you the results in a week time,
you'll be complaining right?
right?
think i can't see through that eh?
hwehhhhh....
and mind me asking,
you haven't even looked through the
resource list i poured energy documenting last week right?
y'know mister,
you're not the only one i'm supporting,
3 other besides you needs handling.
hyah!
anyway,
that's all for my complaining session.
here's Hadis Qudsi #7.
reminding me of how i'm a total munafik,
striving to serve people in sacrifice of my time with Him.
how about that heh?
now these are the things that bring me down.
the world, and the people in it.
Astaghfirullah Al Azim.
how do i get around this?
i feel like s.
tsk.
Hadith Qudsi #7:On the authority of Uqbah ibn Amir (may Allah be pleased with him),
who said:
I heard the messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) say:
Your Lord delights at a shepherd who,
on the peak of a mountain crag,
gives the call to prayer and prays.
Then Allah (glorified and exalted be He) say:
Look at this servant of Mine,
he gives the call to prayer and performs the prayers;
he is in awe of Me.
I have forgiven My servant [his sins]
and have admitted him to Paradise.
-related by an-Nasa'i with a good chain of authorities.think i'm better off being a shepherd,
rather an engineer who sacrifices her time for these people.
i asked for leniency the other day,
to them SCorp peeps,
so that i'd be able to pray on time whenever i'm here.
and guess what?
they told me religion is a private personal choice,
and it is against their policy to entertain such private matters.
hm.
and they say they love me.
that they prefer my support.
and mr manager?
he's happy that what percent of our income
comes from my coming here entertaining these peeps.
i asked for kindness,
and this is what i get.
when they said no to my appeal,
it broke my heart and made me cry.
and now?
i'm just empty and cynical.
yep, got that right i'm questioning the integrity of my job.
think maybe i'll be a shepherd one day.
just me and my lambs.
and all the time and freedom in the world to serve Him.
anyway, don't mind me,
i'm just bursting out.
till then,
have a good weekend,
assalamualaikum kawan2.
"it meant the world to hold a bruising faith
now its just a matter of grace"
edri vented out at11/02/2007 07:38:00 PM
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